11.10.2014
Hawaii on the Horizon
Dear lady friends, far and farther,
Life is full and good and rolling out faster than I can seem to keep up with. I woke up this morning to puppy dog kisses being delivered between layers of pillows, Jack ready for me to get with the program. He nuzzled me into consciousness, those big spaniel eyes smiling. This was the first of two times I cried today at the thought of leaving him in a few days.
After coffee we walked a mile and a half, through neighborhoods and agricultural fields, to a friend's house to retrieve my car. (I accepted a sober ride home last night after downing a solid bottle of wine during a back yard fire.) Then I went to the Mountain View Market Co-op's cafe to set up an art show with this real cool kid, Vela. Interviewed him, took photos, wrote a blog post for the co-op, which I encourage you to read here: http://mountainviewmarket.coop/news/blog/prolific-young-painter-shares-themes-sustainability-local-and-regional-community
Around 2 I met up with some friends for a "car party," where we all worked on our cars. I ShopVac'ed, and basically just cleaned the crap out of mine for about an hour and a half in preparation for selling it. Where did all those stains in the upholstery come from, and when did the backseat begin moonlighting as a dog hair repository?
At 4 some women friends and I had a gathering based on the curriculum from my friend Carli's feminine-centered growth and empowerment non-profit, Shakti Rising. We stood in the sunshine in the back yard and breathed in love and compassion for our former selves, current selves, and future selves. We discussed the changing seasons, the related elements and cardinal directions, and how to dwell in a seasonally-responsive space of awareness and balance. At the end Carli had a surprise: she held space for each of my lady companion friends to bestow me with blessings for my journeys to and in Hawaii. It was remarkable! One lady, Deidra, a yoga instructor and practitioner of essential oil therapy, anointed me with wild orange oil, wishing me abundance, and then giving me the jar of oil to take with me. Mary braided my hair and talked about how it symbolized how interconnected we have grown as sisters. Another woman, who I had just met, shared with me a message that had come to her: just as the Taj Mahal had been designed so as to not cast shadows, it IS possible to design our lives so that we don't have to allow for shadows and darkness. There is no reason to fill one's life with anything but joy and goodness, and there should be no guilt for creating happiness for oneself every day. The other blessings were equally touching, and again I was in tears. I was blindsided by the most genuine embrace of sisterly love. It's a thing that takes time to cultivate, and I know that just like my quad sisters, these women I love in Las Cruces will be friends for life, whether near or far.
Around 6:30 I got home and ate, took a shower to warm up, for the desert is now unarguably chilly, and began writing and editing photos for the blog post about the art show. Spent time going through my boxes of crap, piles of clothes, avalanches of magazines, stationary, binders, candles, letters, school supplies, ad infinitum. Got a text from Sean, who is on the road, and squarely in the "ex" category, that he misses me. We made plans to spend time together before I go. This is how it is now: my former partner, set free, thinks of me when he's in town or coming through, and we embrace our opportunities to experience each other without expectation. It's been inexplicably simple and healthy. In the five months since we broke up we stayed away from each other for about 7 weeks, then tried to be friends (for about an hour), and then realized that we were, mutually, in love. Eventually we decided not to fight it--a partnership is not our best fit and recognizing this has allowed us to enjoy each other more purely, and with the knowledge that each movie, dog walk, or other dalliance could be the last. He'll be back tomorrow, and I'm hoping for some snuggling.
Tomorrow I go back to the community clinic for them to check my TB test injection site and sign my paperwork for Pacific Quest rendering me fit for work. Then to court to advocate for leniency in my expired registration ticket situation, to the Co-op for my exit interview and to return my keys, to yoga, where I am trading the instructor a bookshelf for the price of my admission. I'll do as much cleaning and packing as I can before Monday Night Music Night, the weekly gathering for Las Cruces' dirtbag, underground rock and roll scene, where outdoor pool tables, indoor dice games, and jam sessions til dawn are the norm. Dogs without collars occupy the floors, cigarettes are smoked indoors and out, and I do my best to not smoke the joints I'm handed, since I have a drug test to pass this coming Friday.
The next two days, Tuesday and Wednesday, will be equally packed with chores, cleaning, fun and games, and then on Thursday morning at 6:30 my two best friends are going to carpool me to the El Paso airport to begin my 18 hour trip to the big island. Jack will stay with Sean for a bit, and then will go to live with my good friend Monica in Silver City, the smaller, poorer, meth-ier Ithaca of New Mexico. Next June I should be able to bring him to Hilo with me (I'll be back for a good friend's wedding) but until then it's going to be super lonely land.
Here's a link to check out the work I'm about to do: Pacific Quest Much love, all, and goodnight. It's definitely bed time here in my borrowed room.
10.18.2014
Congrats, Abby!!
Hey, so I hear Hawaii is pretty cool and will soon be even more so, due to your presence there :)
I'm so happy to hear about your next life phase and the cool location and awesome job to go with it :)
Love you!
10.08.2014
A Belated Birthday Cake for Lizzy!
It was the big 3-0! We are now a bunch of women in our thirties. Whoa.
7.17.2014
What are you doing New Years...New Years Eve
Hi lovers:
After spending a blissful (super) long weekend with the Tilley-Manuliks, I'm jonesing for some more quad time. Hence, my mind wanders to one of my favorite quadlidays: New Year's Eve. Matt and I would like to be in DC and spend NYE with you all. NNTM will also be in town this year. Who's around? Who can host? We may be able to use the Lynchs' Bethesda house if they're in Stone Harbor, which they normally are. Any other thoughts?
We're getting close to buying our plane tickets and I want to make sure I have some good dates picked that coincide with when you guys are around/free. Right now we're thinking December 23-January 4. Becca W, when will you be in Oklahoma? Is there a chance that Abby or Erin might be around?
xoxo
Erica
After spending a blissful (super) long weekend with the Tilley-Manuliks, I'm jonesing for some more quad time. Hence, my mind wanders to one of my favorite quadlidays: New Year's Eve. Matt and I would like to be in DC and spend NYE with you all. NNTM will also be in town this year. Who's around? Who can host? We may be able to use the Lynchs' Bethesda house if they're in Stone Harbor, which they normally are. Any other thoughts?
We're getting close to buying our plane tickets and I want to make sure I have some good dates picked that coincide with when you guys are around/free. Right now we're thinking December 23-January 4. Becca W, when will you be in Oklahoma? Is there a chance that Abby or Erin might be around?
xoxo
Erica
6.05.2014
Road Trip and Future Plans!!! ... and some other, less exciting things...
Hi Quadlings,
I haven't posted an update about my life in, well, maybe ever? So, I thought I'd catch everyone up on me, and more importantly, begin a discussion of my summer travel plans, which will hopefully include several (maybe all?! - interrobang!) of you...
Spring was kind of depressing with lots of rain in Eugene and rejections from all of the US grad school programs to which I'd applied. I basically didn't leave my apartment for most of March, and I'm sorry if I a little bit fell off the grid (even more so than usual, which is saying something) on checking in with you guys. I don't think I handle rejection well :) BUT I did eventually get my act together and applied to my backup plan school, which is in Scotland. They let me in (yay!), though I think it has more to do with being an American who will pay than with me being awesome, but I'll just have to prove I'm awesome once I get there, I guess.
Anyway, if I can manage the logistics of passports, visas, and financial aid (and that's a big if, given my repeated demonstration of a lack of logistical talent), I think I'll be moving to Aberdeen in early September. I have a friend living in the UK right now who said it's the 'ass end of nowhere', so that's something to look forward to. Though, I have experience living in many ass end of nowhere type places, so it's probably ok.
I'll be working on a one-year Masters of Letters degree in their Celtic and Anglo-Saxon Studies Department, which will hopefully result in me being accepted into PhD programs by all of the schools that just rejected me :) I'm not completely sold on this being the best career move, but I am excited to be doing Celtic Studies in a real academic setting, instead of just reading Wikipedia articles about it.
Nick was offered a job with a sports betting company doing data analysis in Curacao (off the coast of Venzuala) in December. He was supposed to start in May, but he is currently STILL waiting on the visa process, so it's a little unclear what's happening there.
He and I had a pretty big talk a few weeks ago, and decided that we're in very different places regarding kids. He wants them; I don't -- which is kind of a deal breaker. It's something that neither of us were very certain about when we first started dating, but it's becoming more and more of an issue (you know, with the biology and the aging). So, I guess, long story short, we've decided that, when we go our separate ways for our respective careers (though, I'm not sure you can call what either of us are doing a 'career move'), it will probably be best to call it quits.
It was a hard decision, and I think we're both pretty much not dealing with the emotional fallout right now. I'm very good at compartmentalizing (Nick -- not so much. Plus, tomorrow is the anniversary of his dad's passing away, so if you think of it, maybe shoot him a FB message or email to let him know you're thinking about him).
Anyway, all of that means that neither of us have really dealt with the logistics of this summer. However (and after all of that depressing-ness, I'm going to start on the good things :) ), we do have a trip across the country to plan! We need to drive the dog and the car back to NC, which I'm super excited about. We haven't picked an exit date, yet... BUT I think we will be leaving Oregon sometime in mid-July. I'm currently looking at either the 11th or the 18th. My plan is to drive up to Seattle, then to Glacier National Park, then Yellowstone. I think that will take about a week, or so.
Then it's time for quadlings :) I hope to head down through Boulder, then Las Cruces, then San Antonio (then New Orleans and Miami to spend a week with the sibling, sibling-in-law, and nephew, and then on to NC). But I figured I should check in with all of you to make sure you'll be in your homes and that you're able to host Nick, Zigs, and me.
So, I guess Nicky, Abby, and Erica: What do ya'll's schedules look like for the 3rd and 4th week of July? Is there a time that is super inconvenient for us to show up (do you even want us to show up :) ), and what are work/family schedules like? Also, consider the fact that we'll have the dog (who is getting super mellow in his old age). I know that Stokar are pretty much only free to hang out on the weekends, but I'm not sure about the Tilley-Manuliks and the Abby/Sean situation. If we show up mid-week, how inconvenient is that for you? Right now, I'm only planning to spend one full day (2 nights) with everyone, as we kind of need to keep moving. Don't feel like you have to spend all of that with us, if it doesn't work out with life schedules. If it only works out to couch surf and have dinner with you, I'll take what I can get, as I am super homesick for the Quad (especially with all of this life upheaval).
Please, feel free to let me know if it doesn't work for us to visit. My feelings definitely won't be hurt, though I will be sad to miss you. I know this is semi-last minute (as is almost everything I do), and it's summertime, and there might be vacation plans and other commitments in the works. Once I hear back from you guys, I'll send out a draft of our travel plans.
For the rest of you MD/VA-based folks, I think we'll head up to DC sometime in mid-August. I can't be much more specific than that right now, but I will definitely keep you posted. Please, let me know your summer plans, too, so I can try to factor that in when we're planning our trip up there.
I'm sorry for the somewhat depressing nature of this update. 2014 has been a pretty tumultuous year so far in McSpadden-land. But I am so happy about thoughts of (hopefully) seeing all of you (and Jayne and Evie and Kellen!). I love and miss you all so much and think of you pretty much everyday -- even if I'm horrible about every form of communication. Can't wait to hear from you guys about the summer!
Mwah!
~E.
PS For those of you see him regularly, Nick and I haven't really had a chance to talk to Kelly (or Kate/Erek) about the whole eventual break up situation. I feel like this should come from us, so maybe don't mention it to anyone outside of the blog (and Becca Z -- I'm going to email her, too), yet.
Bit, Cameron, and Kellen
I haven't posted an update about my life in, well, maybe ever? So, I thought I'd catch everyone up on me, and more importantly, begin a discussion of my summer travel plans, which will hopefully include several (maybe all?! - interrobang!) of you...
Spring was kind of depressing with lots of rain in Eugene and rejections from all of the US grad school programs to which I'd applied. I basically didn't leave my apartment for most of March, and I'm sorry if I a little bit fell off the grid (even more so than usual, which is saying something) on checking in with you guys. I don't think I handle rejection well :) BUT I did eventually get my act together and applied to my backup plan school, which is in Scotland. They let me in (yay!), though I think it has more to do with being an American who will pay than with me being awesome, but I'll just have to prove I'm awesome once I get there, I guess.
Anyway, if I can manage the logistics of passports, visas, and financial aid (and that's a big if, given my repeated demonstration of a lack of logistical talent), I think I'll be moving to Aberdeen in early September. I have a friend living in the UK right now who said it's the 'ass end of nowhere', so that's something to look forward to. Though, I have experience living in many ass end of nowhere type places, so it's probably ok.
I'll be working on a one-year Masters of Letters degree in their Celtic and Anglo-Saxon Studies Department, which will hopefully result in me being accepted into PhD programs by all of the schools that just rejected me :) I'm not completely sold on this being the best career move, but I am excited to be doing Celtic Studies in a real academic setting, instead of just reading Wikipedia articles about it.
Nick was offered a job with a sports betting company doing data analysis in Curacao (off the coast of Venzuala) in December. He was supposed to start in May, but he is currently STILL waiting on the visa process, so it's a little unclear what's happening there.
He and I had a pretty big talk a few weeks ago, and decided that we're in very different places regarding kids. He wants them; I don't -- which is kind of a deal breaker. It's something that neither of us were very certain about when we first started dating, but it's becoming more and more of an issue (you know, with the biology and the aging). So, I guess, long story short, we've decided that, when we go our separate ways for our respective careers (though, I'm not sure you can call what either of us are doing a 'career move'), it will probably be best to call it quits.
It was a hard decision, and I think we're both pretty much not dealing with the emotional fallout right now. I'm very good at compartmentalizing (Nick -- not so much. Plus, tomorrow is the anniversary of his dad's passing away, so if you think of it, maybe shoot him a FB message or email to let him know you're thinking about him).
Anyway, all of that means that neither of us have really dealt with the logistics of this summer. However (and after all of that depressing-ness, I'm going to start on the good things :) ), we do have a trip across the country to plan! We need to drive the dog and the car back to NC, which I'm super excited about. We haven't picked an exit date, yet... BUT I think we will be leaving Oregon sometime in mid-July. I'm currently looking at either the 11th or the 18th. My plan is to drive up to Seattle, then to Glacier National Park, then Yellowstone. I think that will take about a week, or so.
Then it's time for quadlings :) I hope to head down through Boulder, then Las Cruces, then San Antonio (then New Orleans and Miami to spend a week with the sibling, sibling-in-law, and nephew, and then on to NC). But I figured I should check in with all of you to make sure you'll be in your homes and that you're able to host Nick, Zigs, and me.
So, I guess Nicky, Abby, and Erica: What do ya'll's schedules look like for the 3rd and 4th week of July? Is there a time that is super inconvenient for us to show up (do you even want us to show up :) ), and what are work/family schedules like? Also, consider the fact that we'll have the dog (who is getting super mellow in his old age). I know that Stokar are pretty much only free to hang out on the weekends, but I'm not sure about the Tilley-Manuliks and the Abby/Sean situation. If we show up mid-week, how inconvenient is that for you? Right now, I'm only planning to spend one full day (2 nights) with everyone, as we kind of need to keep moving. Don't feel like you have to spend all of that with us, if it doesn't work out with life schedules. If it only works out to couch surf and have dinner with you, I'll take what I can get, as I am super homesick for the Quad (especially with all of this life upheaval).
Please, feel free to let me know if it doesn't work for us to visit. My feelings definitely won't be hurt, though I will be sad to miss you. I know this is semi-last minute (as is almost everything I do), and it's summertime, and there might be vacation plans and other commitments in the works. Once I hear back from you guys, I'll send out a draft of our travel plans.
For the rest of you MD/VA-based folks, I think we'll head up to DC sometime in mid-August. I can't be much more specific than that right now, but I will definitely keep you posted. Please, let me know your summer plans, too, so I can try to factor that in when we're planning our trip up there.
I'm sorry for the somewhat depressing nature of this update. 2014 has been a pretty tumultuous year so far in McSpadden-land. But I am so happy about thoughts of (hopefully) seeing all of you (and Jayne and Evie and Kellen!). I love and miss you all so much and think of you pretty much everyday -- even if I'm horrible about every form of communication. Can't wait to hear from you guys about the summer!
Mwah!
~E.
PS For those of you see him regularly, Nick and I haven't really had a chance to talk to Kelly (or Kate/Erek) about the whole eventual break up situation. I feel like this should come from us, so maybe don't mention it to anyone outside of the blog (and Becca Z -- I'm going to email her, too), yet.
Bit, Cameron, and Kellen
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