Mind Melt

Hey folks,

Y'know... I haven't been looking at the blog enough. I really haven't. There's been all sortsa nifty stuff going on in all of your lives. Glad your LSAT adventure is over Erica, and congrats on the move Nicky! Miami sounds just beautiful, and that picture reminds me of when I was out clubbing in Orlando... I wore my "naked dress" - this golden sparkly thing that barely is barely long enough to avoid arrest, on top of being strapless and semi-see through - and I felt like I was wearing WAY to much material. But after a few weeks of being there, you'll have the all-year-round Miami tan that we'll all envy you for, right? :)

What's funny is that I had gotten totally confused about when you guys were coming to Ithaca... I thought it was June 17th-20th, which is why when I hadn't heard anything from you I was kinda surprised/worried. Then immediately after checking the blog, I just realized that I was just losing my mind. Which seems more and more standard at this point.

I saw Becca's post too, about whether or not we have tickets yet to the Grassroots. They can be ordered online here with more information about the festival in general here. Did you guys want to go every day or just to a few of the days?

On a weirder note, I had probably one of the more bizarre dreams of my life last night. Every time I stay over at Victor's I have these strangely lucid, long, tenuously tied together dreams - and half the time, I think I'm awake on top of that. People relating the whole narrative of their dreams is boring, so to give you guys a few of the highlights (and imagine maybe ten times this many equally bizarre things and that the transitions between these parts seemed at the time very natural):

• At some point, I attended a commitment ceremony or wedding for Zach Braff, who was engaged to some sort of honeybee (no, really,) because the two of them had just had babies together which were for some reason either bunnies or puppies depending on the moment.
• I was trying to get down into this big room through this wide opening on the floor, but there were just so many picnic tables stacked up from the room all the way through the opening that I couldn't just jump in... So I slithered and climbed down and through about fifty picnic tables.
• I was convinced I was awake and had about an hour long conversation with Victor... But then I realized I was still also talking to people in the dream and that possibly I wasn't actually saying anything out loud or even awake at all. Or I could have actually had an hour long conversation with Victor about human/honeybee spawn being (naturally) rabbit-puppies. Really, I'm gonna have to hope not.
• I kept having guys I wasn't interested in walk up to me and try to kiss me (during this wedding ceremony) and even though I would push them off, I'd always turn around to see Victor somehow always standing there just looking kinda pissed off.

So... I don't even know. There was a lot more, and I woke up really weirded out. It didn't help that Victor woke up just enough to pull me over to cuddle - okay, so that was nice - and then I coughed or cleared my throat or something, and he freezes. I didn't realize anything was wrong at first... Then I hear, "Did you just say Nick?"

WTF? Nick is a mutual friend of ours that winds up hanging out with me and Victor a lot, and he's got a girlfriend that I like - and honestly, he's the one male member of my group of friends that I've never even thought of at all that way, even in passing.

Y'know, the power of a misheard word at the wrong time is pretty strong, but even if he thought he heard, "Nick," I ALSO call Victor "Vick" pretty frequently, and when things between us have actually been good and pretty peaceful for a bit, the fact that he wouldn't just mentally self-correct is a little insulting. I said something along the lines of "What? No, I just coughed," (ah, the rebuttal of the ages,) but I think both of us were a little weirded out and we didn't really cuddle again before going back to sleep.

Okay... This was post was laced with a lot of random rambling. I guess it's been a weird couple of weeks for me again. After Victor broke it off with me, we wound up hooking up again four days later. I spend the night with him pretty consistently, but it's strange that there's no real feel like this is gonna turn into anything more promising... He can be sweet (and generally is) but he's both simultaneously emotionally distant and demanding. If I'd like him to come out, do stuff during the day with me or my friends, maybe have dinner, come out to a bar or to dance, maybe fifty percent of the time he just won't respond to my text message - and then Jason will send him one, and immediately there's a response. Tied to that, if other people start hitting on me or really talking to me too much, he gets kinda sulky. (Although there is a bonus side to that, namely if some other guy is hitting on me, it increases the chances that Victor and I will go home together by a tremendous margin... Apparently, jealousy gets him interested. Who knew.)

That's about it in my life... I'm doing some math research, getting ready for this conference I'm going to in Salt Lake City for the next two weeks (I leave Saturday from BWI.) I'm back Friday afternoon or early evening if any of you lovely ladies are around and would perhaps like to go out. My flight doesn't leave Saturday until the evening, so I'd be up for some D.C. trekking.

Talk to y'all soon!

~Gwyn