Hey guys,
So, I thought 2014 was the year of upheaval, but 2015 is a little bit kicking its (and my) ass. And I kinda just wanted to keep you guys updated (and maybe request hugs from afar).
First, I want to apologize again for the alumni lodge situation. There was really no excuse for not having that paper finished so close to deadline, even if I did have the wrong day. Three days was cutting it entirely too close to begin with. I was just ridiculous. I had a really hard time getting schoolwork done over the second half of last year. I think I was a little depressed (not knowing anyone, ending a long term relationship, far away from family, eternal darkness, etc). Anyway, I'm so sorry that it culminated in me having to miss quad/SMCM time -- especially since it was the 10 year reunion for some of us.
I actually still haven't gotten a grade back for it, and I'm super nervous. Mainly because I re-used about 10 pages from a previous paper, which I discussed doing with my adviser, so it should be cool, but I keep waking up in a panic that they're going to decide not to give me the degree... In addition to the obvious, this would really suck because, in other awesome news:
I don't know if I told you guys that there was an entrance language exam for my PhD program, but there was, and I actually failed it. For the first time ever, I made less than an A on a language test, and it was really the only time it actually mattered. So...there's that. I'm still super embarrassed about it, but at the same time, a little bit feel like it was a little unfair. I made a few stupid mistakes, but most of them were grammar based, and I think the tests were geared toward the students who came through CMS's MA program. But that could just be an excuse to make myself feel better.
Anyway, I had the option of staying here and paying for an MA and still reapplying to the PhD, but I thought that was a stupid thing to pay for, since I already have a master's (or hopefully will soon - which is why I'm a little panicked about it). It just sucks because I know that I'm actually really good at translating Latin and can't believe first, that I failed, and second, that it means I'm out of the program. I've talked to a few friends and professors, and they're all kind of surprised by both of these things, too, which makes me feel a little better, I guess.
Anyway, so that happened.
But that's not all! (Though this is just really random and crazy but not necessarily bad. Actually, it's kind of awesome):
So, this is super secret because she hasn't even told my mom, yet (so absolutely no social media comments -- not that you guys would, but just in case). But Sarah is pregnant. She's the one in Australia. The thing is, she dropped out of her PhD program about a month ago (she decided to pursue a different career) and had been planning to break up with her boyfriend (she has a lot of the same issues with him as I had with Nick) and move back home in the spring. So now, she's moving that schedule up (though maybe not the breaking up part? -- it's unclear) and is planning to move back much sooner, though again, she has had about a week to think about things and hasn't really talked this through with my mom...
SO, tentatively, I think she and I are going to try to get an apartment together in Winston Salem, near my mom, so we can both deal with this crazy, unexpected year (well, much longer than that for her) together. She's really happy about it but kind of freaked out, at the moment.
Also, it should be noted that my other sister is also pregnant (again), but that one is planned... [As a side note, I'm not having sex again until I'm 85. Apparently, in my family, if you even think about it, you get knocked up. Bit was off birth control for like a month both times, and Sarah used Plan B after the condom broke and had to turn her appointment for an IUD that she had scheduled for the week after she found out she was pregnant into a pregnancy test...though, I'm not really sure why she was only just now getting an IUD...]
Right?? So crazy. So many things happened all at once. It was almost like a sign that the Toronto path might not be the one for me, at least not right now... But I am going to start the application process for schools again next year...ughh.
So, that's where I am right now. Searching for jobs, looking at schools, trying to help my new housemate find a replacement, studying Latin, trying not to freak out about my thesis, and gearing up to move back to NC (to my mom's basement). Obviously, the first two weeks of 32 have been awesome.
And now that I think about it, I feel like my last few blog posts have been downers (ish). I guess I hope I'll have some better news soon. But I love that I have you guys that I can be awesomely happy with but also tell you all the shitty things.
Love you guys.
~E.
