Hawaii on the Horizon

Dear lady friends, far and farther, Life is full and good and rolling out faster than I can seem to keep up with. I woke up this morning to puppy dog kisses being delivered between layers of pillows, Jack ready for me to get with the program. He nuzzled me into consciousness, those big spaniel eyes smiling. This was the first of two times I cried today at the thought of leaving him in a few days. After coffee we walked a mile and a half, through neighborhoods and agricultural fields, to a friend's house to retrieve my car. (I accepted a sober ride home last night after downing a solid bottle of wine during a back yard fire.) Then I went to the Mountain View Market Co-op's cafe to set up an art show with this real cool kid, Vela. Interviewed him, took photos, wrote a blog post for the co-op, which I encourage you to read here: http://mountainviewmarket.coop/news/blog/prolific-young-painter-shares-themes-sustainability-local-and-regional-community Around 2 I met up with some friends for a "car party," where we all worked on our cars. I ShopVac'ed, and basically just cleaned the crap out of mine for about an hour and a half in preparation for selling it. Where did all those stains in the upholstery come from, and when did the backseat begin moonlighting as a dog hair repository? At 4 some women friends and I had a gathering based on the curriculum from my friend Carli's feminine-centered growth and empowerment non-profit, Shakti Rising. We stood in the sunshine in the back yard and breathed in love and compassion for our former selves, current selves, and future selves. We discussed the changing seasons, the related elements and cardinal directions, and how to dwell in a seasonally-responsive space of awareness and balance. At the end Carli had a surprise: she held space for each of my lady companion friends to bestow me with blessings for my journeys to and in Hawaii. It was remarkable! One lady, Deidra, a yoga instructor and practitioner of essential oil therapy, anointed me with wild orange oil, wishing me abundance, and then giving me the jar of oil to take with me. Mary braided my hair and talked about how it symbolized how interconnected we have grown as sisters. Another woman, who I had just met, shared with me a message that had come to her: just as the Taj Mahal had been designed so as to not cast shadows, it IS possible to design our lives so that we don't have to allow for shadows and darkness. There is no reason to fill one's life with anything but joy and goodness, and there should be no guilt for creating happiness for oneself every day. The other blessings were equally touching, and again I was in tears. I was blindsided by the most genuine embrace of sisterly love. It's a thing that takes time to cultivate, and I know that just like my quad sisters, these women I love in Las Cruces will be friends for life, whether near or far. Around 6:30 I got home and ate, took a shower to warm up, for the desert is now unarguably chilly, and began writing and editing photos for the blog post about the art show. Spent time going through my boxes of crap, piles of clothes, avalanches of magazines, stationary, binders, candles, letters, school supplies, ad infinitum. Got a text from Sean, who is on the road, and squarely in the "ex" category, that he misses me. We made plans to spend time together before I go. This is how it is now: my former partner, set free, thinks of me when he's in town or coming through, and we embrace our opportunities to experience each other without expectation. It's been inexplicably simple and healthy. In the five months since we broke up we stayed away from each other for about 7 weeks, then tried to be friends (for about an hour), and then realized that we were, mutually, in love. Eventually we decided not to fight it--a partnership is not our best fit and recognizing this has allowed us to enjoy each other more purely, and with the knowledge that each movie, dog walk, or other dalliance could be the last. He'll be back tomorrow, and I'm hoping for some snuggling. Tomorrow I go back to the community clinic for them to check my TB test injection site and sign my paperwork for Pacific Quest rendering me fit for work. Then to court to advocate for leniency in my expired registration ticket situation, to the Co-op for my exit interview and to return my keys, to yoga, where I am trading the instructor a bookshelf for the price of my admission. I'll do as much cleaning and packing as I can before Monday Night Music Night, the weekly gathering for Las Cruces' dirtbag, underground rock and roll scene, where outdoor pool tables, indoor dice games, and jam sessions til dawn are the norm. Dogs without collars occupy the floors, cigarettes are smoked indoors and out, and I do my best to not smoke the joints I'm handed, since I have a drug test to pass this coming Friday. The next two days, Tuesday and Wednesday, will be equally packed with chores, cleaning, fun and games, and then on Thursday morning at 6:30 my two best friends are going to carpool me to the El Paso airport to begin my 18 hour trip to the big island. Jack will stay with Sean for a bit, and then will go to live with my good friend Monica in Silver City, the smaller, poorer, meth-ier Ithaca of New Mexico. Next June I should be able to bring him to Hilo with me (I'll be back for a good friend's wedding) but until then it's going to be super lonely land. Here's a link to check out the work I'm about to do: Pacific Quest Much love, all, and goodnight. It's definitely bed time here in my borrowed room.